You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
