we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
