I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
