Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
