And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize