Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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