so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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