pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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