just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
