Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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