I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
