Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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