I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
