Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
