I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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