i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
