I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
