He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
