Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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