why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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