I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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