I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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