I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
