you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
