btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I currently don't understand fingers.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
