i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
