Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
