I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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