Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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