I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
