belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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