we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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