i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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