Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
