hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My cat gives me a boner
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
