i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
