i love accidental penises.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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