he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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