this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
