Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
