I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
