His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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