Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
