Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I don't think brook has ever known best
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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