Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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