tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize