also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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