This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
