My hand turned me down
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
