I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I need water and some morals
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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