I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
