I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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