i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
