your parents love me but you hate me
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
