No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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