I just saw a hot homeless man
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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