She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize