Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I want a musical about memes.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
