worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
