Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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