He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
