My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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