Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
