Where is the hickey?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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