that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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