My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
