Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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